Friday, April 17, 2009


Hi Everyone,
Last week during my regular weekly appointment, my blood pressure systolic number wouldn't go above 80. This has been a regular problem, and one of the reasons I ended up in the ICU in December. Dr. Zangari has had me into a cardiologist to rule out my heart and after my episode with the blood pressure last week, he canceled all of my tests and is now having me see a neurologist. I am scheduled for a nerve conduction test next week in hopes that the neurologist will figure it out. Needless to say, I am sooo ready to get this over with. I am trying really hard to have a positive attitude about this delay. After all, I really don't want to end up in ICU again! My prayers are always that the doctors will be inspired to know what to do - Heavenly Father must want me to see a neurologist!! I am sorry I didn't write sooner to let you know. I have received many wonderful "good luck" emails, for which I am very grateful. Please don't hesitate to email me. One of the exciting side effects of the chemo drugs I take on a regular basis is that I don't get to sleep until 3-4 AM. I devour your emails in the middle of the night. (Did you know that all of the best shows are on after 1AM - My Three Sons, Home Improvement, Sci-Fi, etc.) Pretty pathetic huh!
I know some of you are going to really relate to this and some of you are going to think I'm nuts, but Tuesday Emily took me to Costco and I got to walk up and down every single aisle (with a mask on of course). I haven't been to Costco in over 7 months. During my real life, I was a once a week shopper there. Wednesday I slept the entire day to make up for it, but it was worth it! Monday, I am going to the temple with my sister Lisa. That has been on the top of my priority list. I feel that I am finally strong enough to sit through a session and handle being in a closed environment with coughing people.
Seriously, thank you for your love and heartfelt prayers! This is all in Heavenly Father's hands and I know He is very aware of my needs and especially aware of YOU - the wonderful, caring people that surround me. You all have earned so many brownie points!!

I love you, Becki

Monday, April 6, 2009

The latest from Becki

Hi Everyone,
It's been a long 4 month wait, but we are now ready to continue with the second transplant. This week I will have a PET scan, a MRI, a pulminary test, a echo cardiogram and my favorite, another bone marrow biopsy! If all of the tests come back relatively similar to the baseline tests, then I will begin chemo on April 17th. I will be neutropenic almost immediately, so I will have to be completely isolated again. I know it has been a long process, and I have asked so much of you, but please keep me in your prayers. I am really nervous this time around because I know exactly what to expect. I always thought knowledge was power, but in this case I would rather be ignorant.
Today I went up to Layton to see my bunnies. I have missed them so much. Kim's sister Cheryl is caring for them and they are very loved. Then we spent the afternoon with extended family. I still have to wear a mask, but it is so great to hug. I've never been a very huggy person, but let me tell you, that is going to change. After 3 months of isolation I am starved for hugs! Another thing you will never hear me complain about again is my weight. Everyone needs a buffer of fat!! It pads your bones, gives you a buffer during sickness and looks healthy! Those of you who are 40 and under can fight to maintain the anorexic look, as for those of us over 40, ENJOY FOOD! It has taken me 3 1/2 months to be able to eat just a handful of different foods. Food is a very enjoyable part of life. I dream of the day I can eat pizza, chocolate, and bread again without getting sick.
Thanks for letting me rant! I also wanted to thank all of you who have brought meals in. I am awed at the kindness and generosity of my ward(s). Some of you I haven't even met yet. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My poor husband would starve if it weren't for you.

Love, Becki