Becki's Heroic Journey

Making Memories

2011-07-11T10:00:00.001-06:00

Our motto lately has been PLAY, PLAY, and PLAY some more!

Here we are PLAYING:

Emptying Grandma's sock drawer

Going for walks

Swimming in the Moab pool

Trying to get warm after swimming

Family dinners and fun

Ryan Shupe concert

More pool and Moab time

I love my family so much and am so grateful for all the fun memories we are making!

It's not Goodbye, but See ya Later

2011-06-09T15:42:00.006-06:00

So how do I even start? A month ago, on Mother's Day to be exact, my family and I decided to stop all chemo and any further treatments for my cancer. We are going to allow the disease to take it's course. This was an incredibly difficult decision for everyone, but the chemos seem to be causing more damage than good. My bone marrow has been saturated by cancerous cells and all chemo will do is prolong the process. I have spent the last 3 years fighting hard and giving my all, but the time has come to let go.

I have no fear of returning home and look forward to seeing the generations of friends and family I have on the other side, including my son Nathanael. I know that I will still have a part in my family's lives here on the earth and though I have cried buckets of tears and will miss my family immensely, I know this is God's will and that is my greatest desire to fulfill His will.

2010-12-09T13:51:00.003-07:00

I was reading some of my journal entries from the past couple of months and wanted to share a few.

October 10, 2010

From Friday through Sunday the whole family (except Jacob, who had to work) went to Moab. We had a wonderful time. I went from baby to baby. It was heaven. One evening Shellie was demonstrating to the girls a new job she is starting selling Nu Skin products. Shellie had already done one skin treatment on me and I was telling my daughters how wonderful it was and showing them my softening wrinkles. Suddenly, Emily started laughing and when we asked her why she said, “Mom, you are going to look great in your casket!” Blunt, but she’s absolutely right. This whole thing is nuts. It’s really difficult contemplating how short my time might be.

Over the next month I am going to write letters to Nathan, Ty, Tess and Landon for their baptisms, priesthood ordinations, missions and marriage. I also want to write to each of my children. I don’t want to leave this earth without their absolute knowledge of where I stand with the Gospel and my Savior. I actually hope I can hand them their letters.

October 13, 2010:

I accidently happened on to a grieving website for MM. This is what I posted:

I am 53 and just learned last Thursday that my MM has returned. I have a wonderful husband, 5 children and 4 grandchildren. During the last 2 years, I have had two bone marrow transplants and multiple sessions of chemo - you all know the drill... I had really hoped that I would get more time. The most frustrating part is that 18 months of the two years I felt horrible. It is only the last 6 months that I have felt semi-normal again. But despite all of the negative, I have seen hundreds of miracles during this time. Family, friends, and neighbors have upheld me with their love and prayers. I have witnessed 2 new grand-babies born in the last 6 months. Because the permanent side effects have been so debilitating, I have decided not to do another transplant. I don't think my body could survive it. I am to start Velcade in a few days, and we will see how that goes. I know it is difficult, but we all have tunnel vision during this earth life. Heavenly Father sees the big picture, and loves us more than we can imagine. He knows what is best for us and our loved ones. Everything will work out for the best. We will be together again. I will miss my family on the other side as much as they miss me on this side. Think how much we have all learned through these experiences! Are we not more gentle, caring and loving people? If anyone needs help with their grieving, please don't hesitate to contact me.

October 20, 2010

Shellie’s exciting day finally came and our family, including some of our extended family who could make it on short notice, all met at the Mt. Tiimpanogos Temple to support her as she entered the Holy House of the Lord. I can’t even begin to describe the peace and feeling of eternity that you feel in the temple. It is as if you lay aside your mortal skin and surroundings and bask in a warm and loving realm.

December 7, 2010:

I have had a really rough month. Thanksgiving I was so sick that even though everyone was at my house, and we still cooked the turkey and trimmings, I was in bed most of the day. The side effects were such that the chemo (Velcade) was too toxic (poison being toxic?! duh!) so they changed chemo and this one has an obscure side effect (that of course I would get) that affects your blood pressure. I am so dizzy that if I stand up straight I black out. It also has dropped my white blood cell count so that I am in the critical zone. Sooo, I am still in bed! As much as I hate shopping, I would volunteer to stand in line somewhere rather than spend another day in bed!

There - you have heard my ornery wining, but now let me tell you the flip side; how blessed I am. My bedroom has a huge bay window where I can see outside all day. Sometimes Maya, my dog, sings to me. Until the last serious temperature drop, I had a handful of rosebuds still hanging on trying to bloom. It was heartwarming.

Kim bought me a copy of Greg Olson's "Jesus overlooking Jerusalem" and Brother Olson even wrote a message to me on the back. I put it in my bedroom where it reminds me of the wonderful experience we had seeing the holy land together. These last 2 years, Kim and I have become very close and many of the scars accumulated over a lifetime of marriage have dissolved. This June will be 35 years.

My youngest grand child doesn't just smile, but grins with his whole body every time you talk to him. He has taught me about true joy.

This year for Christmas, our family has decided to go on a family vacation in January and to use the money we would have spent on gifts to be able to do it. It is amazing how it has simplified the season, and my family is sooo excited for the trip; far more than they would be to get gifts.

Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ truly do love us. And I love them.

My Cute Grandkids!

2010-11-07T17:48:00.008-07:00

I just have to show off and brag.. I love these little guys so much!!

Another update

2010-10-24T16:29:00.008-06:00

This is not the news I would like to be telling, but the cancer has returned. I have been getting tests done every three months and during the last 3, my IgA has gone from 7 to over 700 and the percent of plasma cells in my spinal fluid has gone from 2% to 20%. It appears to be growing pretty rapidly.
We all wanted more time, and believed that by doing two transplants we would at least buy 5 years, so obviously we are disappointed, but we also knew it was inevitable that it would rear it's ugly head again.
During the last 6 months, I have really felt great and I have been able to see Tessa and Landon come to earth. I have been able to spend some great quality time with Kim, my incredible children, and grandchildren. I don't believe in coincidence and know this was an answer to my prayers before starting in November 2008. Landon is only 7 weeks old, so it came back exactly after my request was granted. Of course now my request is to at least see Landon married. We always want more than is perhaps planned for us, don't we?
My precious daughter Shellie is in the process of preparing to go to the Temple. My greatest desire at this time is to stand in the Celestial Room with my eternal family Kim and our children Brett and Jessica, Emily, Brooke and Ryan, and Shellie. I would love to add Jacob to this list, but I know that day will come, and I will be there.
I would love to be a physical part of my family's lives as long as possible and because of such I will be starting chemo again to continue trying and fighting.

My family is the most important thing in the world to me and I am so grateful for my knowledge of our Heavenly Father's plan. I am also so grateful for the love, prayers, and faith of my family, friends, wardmembers, and people I don't even know.

D&C 29:6 "Whatsoever ye shall ask in faith, being united in prayer according to my command, ye shall receive."
As always, your continued love, support, faith, and prayers are welcomed and greatly appreciated!

Celebrate!

2010-04-21T18:38:00.001-06:00

In the last 30 days my white blood cell count (a reflection of my immune system) has gone up from 2.2 to 4.1. That is huge! That means that now I only have to wear my mask in very enclosed areas or around sickness. Also, I had my picc line removed, the last real physical evidence. And get this – I had a hair CUT last week.

Life is Great!

2010-04-21T14:39:00.002-06:00

On May 8^th it will be one year since my second transplant!! After the pulmonary emboli mess in January, I was taken off of all of the maintenance chemo drugs. Without those poisons in my body I have been getting stronger and healthier every day. Don’t misunderstand, I know that the chemo and transplants were necessary for my survival and they did their job, but I think I have had enough. Yesterday, I was at the clinic getting an I.V. to help strengthen my bones and a gentleman sitting next to me was doing the same thing. His second transplant was May 26^th. He is on the maintenance protocol of two years of low dose chemo that I was on as well. He looked horrible – frail, weak, feels lousy all of the time… I was shocked at how much I have improved in the 2 ½ months since stopping the drugs. As soon as I was off of everything I began a serious supplement blitz to restore my empty system. When I was where he is, my doctor was highly opposed to supplementing because they believe it also feeds the cancer. It was absolute confirmation to me that I am on the right track. I have also been reading a book about nutrition and cancer and the author emphasized over and over that before beginning chemo or radiation to be prepared nutritionally through supplements and diet. After my Summer in Mexico of innocently doing just that, I was angry that by Fall I had gone from 12% cancer saturation to 80%. I thought that I had wasted my time, even though I had believed at the time that Heavenly Father had led me that direction. Now I realize that indeed He had, to prepare my physical body for what was coming. When I was diagnosed with this cancer I had never even heard of it. It’s amazing that since that diagnosis I am constantly hearing about people who have it and their experiences. Many, many are unable to even get through the first transplant and die. I believe I would have been one of them. I have had so many experiences in my life where understanding comes down the road and I realize again and again how much we are each loved by our Eternal Father. He is watching over us. That doesn’t mean that if I had died or do die that He doesn’t love me. It’s that big picture thing that we all get so hung up on. We are in His hands. Our only objective in this earthly experience is to be the best disciples we can possibly be.

This place again??

2010-01-06T16:04:00.004-07:00

Last Wednesday Becki kept waking up in the night curled over in pain. She tried to ignore it but around 5 o'clock in the morning it was far too bad to ignore. When she woke up enough to pay close attention she knew it was the same pain she had had about 10 years ago with a pulmonary embolism. Feeling extremely confident about what she was dealing with, Kim gave her a priesthood blessing , a couple of things to thin her blood, and then they rushed up to the emergency room. After some x-rays and a CT scan, it was confirmed that she was right on about her diagnosis. She had multiple little embolisms in her lungs and doctors told her that if it weren't for the precautions she had taken right before they came in, the situation could have been far worse. They admitted her to the hospital and put her on the cariology floor to keep a close eye on her heart as well. The idea was to get her blood pressure up, thin her blood, and give her body time to absorb the embolisms.
The hospital is the last place on earth she ever wants to be, but at least this time she was able to be a little more coherent and not in as much pain as past stays. One of the things she hated most was that when they saw her black eye, they put her on bed alarm meaning that she wasn't allowed to get out of bed without someone there to help her. Talk about feeling chained to a bed you don't even want to be in. Well, 5 days later she finally got to go home and is feeling a little better. She has been taken off the chemo drug since it is clearly causing too sever of side effects for her and Dr. Zangari is now trying to figure out what will be the best option for her. They say they have never seen anyone with so many side effects to everything.
Way to break records Mom!

Its been a while...

2010-01-05T15:21:00.000-07:00

Becki has slowly been regaining her strength but constantly dealing with all these horrid side effects. She still fights with dizziness, her intestinal track being all messed up, low blood pressure, etc. She curses the chemo drugs daily knowing that although they are killing the cancer, in a way they are slowly killing her. They are just so harsh on the body.

On a happier note, Becki has really made a huge effort to make the best of her situation. Kim surprised her with a week getaway to Hawaii in December. They had an absolute blast. She didn't have a ton of energy, but still had a wonderful time. When she left the nasty Utah inversion she had a deep cough she couldn't get rid of from a cold she had from the week before. Within a couple of hours of being in beautiful, humid Hawaii, the cough was gone and she felt much better. Here are a few pictures from the week:

They celebrated Kim's birthday at the Polynesian Cultural Center

Christmas was the week after they got home so they jumped right into the festivities of the season and stayed real busy. It was SO nice to have Becki around for Christmas this year. As most probably remember, Christmas was a scary one last year where Becki was in the ICU. We were so grateful to have her around and continue to make some memories.

We began our Christmas Day at Brett's house to be a part of the grandkid's gift experience.

Nathan and Tyler were just as excited to have Grandma around on Christmas.

Notice her sweet black eye? She fell and hit her head- not funny but she got a gnarly shiner out of it.

Becki is alway freezing now that she has no insulation on her bones... She got a nice and warm down Marmot coat for Christmas

Becki with her mother, Ruth

We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas as well.

thoughts from Becki

2009-09-14T08:46:00.003-06:00

Here we are, 10 months later and I’m still hanging on, and I’m still learning a lot about prayer and perspective. This is a very difficult time for me in this process. I feel pretty good, but I am not able to do the things I used to. I have to keep reminding myself that accomplishment is not what makes a person valuable. I feel like I am in limbo – not well enough to get out and act normal, but not sick enough to be stuck at home. Cancer research has made gigantic strides in the last 20 years and hopefully I will benefit from what I have been through, but ultimately Heavenly Father’s Will will take place. Although I know the right answer, I still have periods where I almost panic about missing milestones in the lives of my children, but deep down I know that I really won’t miss a thing, and maybe I’ll be more of an asset from the other side. I think it is not so much panic, as it is change. So often we try to second guess Heavenly Father’s personal plan for us and afterward admit that He knew what He was doing all along – we just kept getting in the way!! Don’t get me wrong, I would love to live another 10 years, but I’m sure there are many, many cancer families who would love the same thing. I remember hearing in a class I was taking that if Heavenly Father isn’t trying you, you’d better get your act together because trial brings the kind of growth necessary to bring about eternal families. That’s the whole idea behind our earthly experiences. In the final analysis family is all that matters.
When they talk about chemo brain, they are not kidding! There are days when I have trouble remembering my name. Kim often reminds me that this and everything else that I whine about will all be corrected in the resurrection. Isn’t it wonderful to know that we are supposed to be here and that our experiences are planned. We are a handful of people who know that we have a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, our Redeemer, has paved the trail for us to return home and continue our family life. How scary it would be not to know what the next step is. It would sure make life seem unfair. But every little detail, down to my bunnies has been taken care of. I can worry all I want, but it really won’t make any difference.
I am so grateful for my amazing family and how they have supported and loved me through this difficult experience. I will try to keep little updates on the blog as they occur.

SUNSHINE!

2009-09-02T11:49:00.004-06:00

Becki has been began "maintenance mode" of her chemo now and is gaining a little more health and strength everyday. Naturally there are some crummy side effects to some of these drugs but overall the sun is finally poking it's head out from the clouds. YEAH!

A couple of weeks ago the family all went down to Moab to enjoy a weekend away before the end of summer. Becki was so excited that about 6 weeks before the trip, she researched multiple different online sites until she found just what she was looking for. She found a contraption that would cover up her PICC line and keep it completely dry so she could SWIM. That is what we love most.. playing in the pool.

We had a great time, like always, playing in the pool, watching movies, playing games, and just spending some good 'ole quality time together.

From here, we are hoping that there really aren't too many more updates (which is a good thing and means there wont be too many blog posts) She is finally on the mend and we pray that things will continue to go well. Thank you again for all your love, support, friendship, concern, and prayers. We couldn't have made it this far without the help of so many of you. Unfortunately this cancer is notorious for coming back, so please continue to pray for Becki's health. Bring on the prayers!

We will keep you posted on any updates.. thanks again!

The latest

2009-07-23T13:03:00.001-06:00

Hi all you wonderful friends, ward members and family,

It has been a long 9 months, but I am finally able to build back up my strength without knocking it down again. I have completed two bone marrow transplants and all the chemo that goes with it. There is one more round of chemo, called consolidation, that they want me to do, but I have decided that I have had enough. I am moving into maintenance, which is Dexamethesone (a steroid) and Velcade (a chemo drug) every 4 out of 14 days for the next year.

This week has been a week of tests. Monday I had another bone marrow aspiration and I still squirm to find a spot to sit that doesn't hurt! (They remove 5 tablespoons of marrow and a piece of bone.) I also had an MRI and lab work. Today is a PET scan, and an echo cardiogram. The purpose of these tests are to see how well the 2nd transplant did. My appointment with my doctor is next Tuesday, so by then I should have all the information we need.

Every day I am feeling stronger and healthier! It is thanks to your prayers that I have made it this far. I am trying not to be too impatient. With my first transplant, it took me 4 months before I didn’t feel like passing out every 10 steps. It has only been 7 weeks since my second transplant, so I know I have at least 2 more months. The best news is I am finally getting a little hair. It’s taking its sweet time, but if I use a magnifying glass I can see it!!! I also have a healthier immune system, so if you are not sick or haven’t been exposed to swine flu, come see me!!!

Love, Becki

Park City

2009-07-23T11:39:00.007-06:00

While everyone was healthy and in town, Becki planned a quick overnight getaway to Park City. There happened to be a firework show over Jordanelle the night we were up there, so we went to that, played in the pool, slept in, and had lots of yummy food and fun.

Waiting for the firework show to start. Nathan made sure everyone was equipped with a glow stick... wouldn't want to lose anyone now would we.

We also celebrated Shellie's birthday while we were there. All she wanted was money so we got creative with a bunch of $1 bills

We had a great weekend and are looking forward to Moab next month. Becki has already researched a special little contraption to keep her pick line from getting wet. Nothing is keeping her out of the pool this time!!

Scalp art

2009-06-08T12:36:00.004-06:00

Becki got the okay to be around her grandkids last week, so she and Emily stopped by Brett and Jess' house on the way home from her doctor's appointment and surprised the kids with a visit! It was a beautiful day, so we pulled out a blanket and sat in the shade in the front yard. Someone came up with the crazy idea of decorating Grandma Becki's head, so after verifying several times that Becki was sure this was okay with her, we gave Nate and Ty some washable markers and let them go at it! What a cool grandma! How many kids do you know get to color all over their grandma's head?

Ty has a turn

Nate is taking his job seriously

The final product! Seems to have some Aztec undertones.

Ty gave Grandma Becki lots of hugs

She really missed those!

She's home!

2009-05-26T17:51:00.002-06:00

Becki came home yesterday afternoon and is SO excited to be home and in her own bed.
They weren't going to let her come home quite yet, but after Emily had a very large and persuasive tempertantrum with the doctor, they let her go. She is doing great. She even walked all the way out to the car! There will still be daily trips up to the clinic for labs, IVs and such, but over all she is doing excellent. Just today while up at the clinic, a doctor mentioned how well she was doing. Becki's response was, "Great, can I go to Moab yet?" He just laughed and told her she at least needs to be able to swallow food. We are so thrilled at how well she is doing. Keep up the good fight Mom. We love you!

The past week...

2009-05-25T09:17:00.014-06:00

Becki still isn't feeling great, but she is doing excellent considering. Her cells have started to engraft and she is now creating white blood cells. Yahoo! She is still unable to eat because the sores in her throat haven't gone down yet and continually mentions how much she would love a to guzzle a huge glass of water or a kids meal. She is definitely hungry, just can't swallow. During the last transplant, her blood pressure is what put her into septic shock. This time around her blood pressure hasn't gone below 100. We are stoked at how well her body is doing so far. Here are a few pics from the last week....

Brooke made this for Becki

Her room @ Huntman

The BMT (bone marrow transplant) clinic was full at the UofU Hospital so the first 4 days Becki stayed at Huntsman. There rooms are like 4 star hotels and the view was incredible.

The view from her window at Huntman

Then a room opened up on Thursday down in the BMT clinic and as one of the nurses in the clinic says, "it is like moving from Olympus Cove to West Valley" They are much more trained for what she is going through though, so we are happy with them taking care of her!

Quite the different view, huh?

Well the last couple of days her hair has really started to fall out alot, so the nurse got Emily a shaver to shave her head. Lets just say we now know why Emily didn't go through cosmetology school...

Good Job, Em!

She did redeem herself though... (the next day)

Much better

On Friday they finally put her on TPN which is to supplement her not being able to eat. She was SO excited! She kept saying how much it looked like milk and how she already felt a little better knowing she was finally going to get a little nutrition. As you can see in the picture above, she kept sniffing it as if it were the yummiest thing in the world.

Brooke and Emily snuggling up with Mom

Hanging out with her hubby

We are hoping she will get to go home soon. She curses that hospital bed and all the lovely noises her room makes. There is always an IV beeping or the bed filling up with more air which sounds like an airplane about to take off. We assume they won't let her leave until she can at least eat a little, so she is working really hard on trying to get some food down. Yesterday she ate 3 cheerios... baby steps, right?

There is such power in Kindness

2009-05-21T12:22:00.004-06:00

Emily is a very eloquent and beautiful writer and she sent this email out to our family last night. It made us all laugh, cry, and want to be better people. Thanks Emily for your endless service to Mom, your beautiful thoughts and inspiring words. We love you!

"You know, some things are just down right crappy--and there really isn't much you can do about it except hope that somewhere down the line there will be a glimmer of sunlit hope that perhaps, somehow, the future could be different. Sometimes that hope is quite a ways off, but then, sometimes for the smallest increment there are those tender mercies that for a single moment open the cloud cover and mercifully allows in the sun. I witnessed one of those moments this evening.It had been a long day rife with hallucinations, poor pain management and looks and facial contortions which could shatter your heart. As the late afternoon progressed, the tension inside our usually happy and luxurious hospital room was ever climbing. I wanted to knock the blessed pain management correspondence out cold and then expressed exactly how I felt to the poor not-so-very-little-and-definitely-balding medical student (that Mom kept repeatedly mentioning did NOT have a ring on his finger--blghhh). Nobody seemed to be listening, Mom was near tears, the not-really-English-speaking nurse was exceptionally stubborn and refused to attempt to understand our demands (or leave). The rising pressure ended with a digestive explosion which true to form brought 2 doctors knocking at the door (their timing is impeccable, really). I slipped out and told them as the patient's advocate I would negotiate but that she was done seeing the medical community for a few moments. They were reasonable and readily understood the concern and dismissed the situation and the deaf and dumb pain management ladies orders immediately. I slipped back in and after getting things and Mom cleaned up finally got her settled back in bed....only to bring another knock at the door. In exasperation, I sighed. In walked the flower delivery lady all cheerful and excited....Mom and I simultaneously said "but she/I can't be around flowers"...."fortunately", the cute flower girl said with a great big smile, "they are fake". Mom's face lit up like a kid on Christmas. "Would you like to read the card?" the girl asked....Excitedly Mom took the card and opened it as we placed the flowers in a visible place and the girl slipped out. Its a beautiful basket with greenery and three bright and incredibly hopeful flowers. The brim of my heart attempted to flow out my eyes as I in awe contemplated what an incredible gesture it was to send a basket of artificial flowers....but who could they be from? By this time, the card was opened and Mom handed it to me and asked me to read it. Through scrawled letters I read the touching message and in near tears said, "of course....it's from Jim and Sarah". These are the words of the card:

On the front: Sending you Hope
Inside: Strength, love and Support (this part was written in by hand) and Prayer

His message said: There are wonderful advances in cancer research and thousands of very smart people who have dedicated their lives and especially their hearts to find the cures and the causes. They wish you well.
Your faith will sustain, your courage will inspire others and your hopes will be realized.
God bless.Love, Jim and Sarah

Its the second time Mom had burst into a smile today. The first was when, completely unexpectedly (he lives in Maryland after all), Jim was standing in our doorway. Mom looked up, saw him, and instantaneously looked like she felt better. Completely serendipitously Dad had ran into him in the lobby (on a floor Dad was not even planning to get off on) and within minutes Jim stopped by our door just to say hello, wish Mom a brief well and continue off with the dignitaries he was with. Mom went on for awhile explaining what a wonderful person he was to the nurse and aide that attended her in the following minutes. Having lived so far away to miss most, if not all, family reunions during the course of my life, I had not met Jim but had heard of him and within moments, I felt this good looking stranger was family and must be of the illusive Maryland branch of Olsons. I was touched by how quickly he was here to visit (especially considering Dad called to tell me he had ran into him after he had already arrived and left). But even more so was I touched by the tender act of sending artificial flowers to brighten a day which had rather fleeting hope.
It was just a small thing, this act, but it seemed so representative of such a big thing. There is such power in kindness. There is such power in simple words said and gestures made. And sometimes, especially on the "cloudiest" of days there comes the one thing that can brighten and lift the lowest of hearts. Last August it was asked of President Monson what he would like for a birthday gift from members of the church and he said that he would ask each of us to find someone in need and do something to help them.
During the last months and year there have been an abundance of generous acts, countless meals, sweet hearts that have gone out of their way to be of some form of help, cards sent, calls made, emails, notes on the blog and innumerable prayers on our family's and Mom's behalf. These have been inspiring, and yet with so very many prayers sent I have wondered, if the pit of my heart could be as low as it is, how awful could it have been with no prayers? I'm glad I don't have the contrast for comparison, I suppose. I don't know why, today, a simple basket of fake flowers was so moving, but it was. Sincerity is an incredible thing. And for all of the thunderstorms that seem to inundate our world, it sure means the world when a simple sincere act is able to break through the clouds."

Becki with Jim and Sarah- they came by and visited again on Friday night one last time before heading back home to Maryland.

Its back to the hospital

2009-05-19T14:23:00.003-06:00

Becki was admitted to the hospital after midnight last night because she is starting to run a fever. As much as she and all of the rest of us don't want her to be there, it is almost comforting to know that she is having knowledgable people keep a close eye on her throughout the hardest times. The sores in her mouth and throat are back and came back strong. She can barely even swallow water. Her digestive system doesn't know quite how to handle all the drugs and changes and has made her miserable. And now that she has a fever, it means that she has some kind of infection. Overall, she feels horrible but is remaining hopeful that this will all be over soon!
Thanks for all your love and concern.

Transplant #2

2009-05-13T16:06:00.003-06:00

Yesterday afternoon Becki received her 2nd transplant. She is already feeling really sick and lousy. Kim has been keeping her filled with pain meds and nausea medicine which has helped up until this p0int, but last night she began running a fever. It wasn't too high, but we don't want to take any chances. Kim called up to the hospital and they said to watch it closely, but that a fever is common on the day you receive a transplant. Her body is extremely achey and she is trying to sleep as much as possible. The mouth sores have already started to form, so at this point we are just hoping that the next couple of weeks will just fly by. She should be back to having absolutely no immune system by tonight, maybe tomorrow and we expect her to probably be hospitalized by the weekend. The first 10-14 days is by far the worst, so please, please, continue to pray for her and our family. We are anxiously awaiting the summer and fall when she should be feeling better and we can move forward.

Fun in the sun

2009-05-13T15:48:00.006-06:00

This past week Becki has been trying to get out and enjoy some things she hasn't been able to do too much of before she gets real sick again. She was able to go do a temple session with Emily and then after one of her dr appointment, Shellie and Brooke took her to Temple Square to see all the beautiful flowers.

Then on Mother's Day we had a nice dinner outside and enjoyed the sunshine. (She just started the chemo on Friday, but we didn't know how soon she would get neutrapenic, so we are staying outside to avoid any germs in the house) Becki really wanted a nice lounge chair for Mother's Day so she could enjoy the sunshine and yard during this next treatment. She is such a sunshine girl! Check out her new chair-

THE WAIT IS OVER

2009-05-06T15:24:00.003-06:00

Friday I will begin to receive 4 days of an I.V. chemo and Tuesday the bone marrow transplant. I am ready! Kim, Brett and Ryan gave me a blessing, I feel great and I am mentally stoked. Spiritually, mentally and physically - I think that covers it! After a few months (depending on how quickly I heal) I will have another 4 days of chemo, and then it is just maintanance drugs!! By Fall I should be where I am now, but with no cancer cells (at least thats the idea!)
This second time around is so different than the first. With the first transplant, I began chemo the first of November and I didn't receive the transplant until December 19th. So this second round is hard and fast. I will be neutropenic (no immune system) almost immediately, and therefore quaranteened until my white blood cells can get on their feet again. By the next time you see me, I should actually have hair growing again!! (Just a little sidenote: I have had long hair my entire life. This short hair is a piece of cake. A little baby shampoo, dry it with a towel and wa-la, you are beautiful. I think we should start a fashion statement here in Draper. We would each have an extra hour a day! )
I know this has been a long process, but I ask again for your faith and prayers. And please, not just for me but for Kim and my caretaker daughters and sisters. Apparently, I am a tough cookie to take care of. I just can't imagine me being difficult!
Once again I want to make sure that everyone who reads this will know that I have an absolute testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that because of the atonement, my Savior has experienced everything I am going through. I feel His love and peace. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for my life, and the desire of my heart is to fulfill that plan. His timetable might be different than mine, but I have tunnel vision while He sees the BIG picture. I know that my family is forever because of sacred covenants made in the Temple of our God. Kim, Brett, Jess, Nate, Ty, Ryan, Brooke, Emily, Shellie, Jacob and the rest of my wonderful family - I love you soooo much. I realize more than ever how important each one of you are. What would I do without you?

Delays...

2009-04-17T08:54:00.002-06:00

Hi Everyone,
Last week during my regular weekly appointment, my blood pressure systolic number wouldn't go above 80. This has been a regular problem, and one of the reasons I ended up in the ICU in December. Dr. Zangari has had me into a cardiologist to rule out my heart and after my episode with the blood pressure last week, he canceled all of my tests and is now having me see a neurologist. I am scheduled for a nerve conduction test next week in hopes that the neurologist will figure it out. Needless to say, I am sooo ready to get this over with. I am trying really hard to have a positive attitude about this delay. After all, I really don't want to end up in ICU again! My prayers are always that the doctors will be inspired to know what to do - Heavenly Father must want me to see a neurologist!! I am sorry I didn't write sooner to let you know. I have received many wonderful "good luck" emails, for which I am very grateful. Please don't hesitate to email me. One of the exciting side effects of the chemo drugs I take on a regular basis is that I don't get to sleep until 3-4 AM. I devour your emails in the middle of the night. (Did you know that all of the best shows are on after 1AM - My Three Sons, Home Improvement, Sci-Fi, etc.) Pretty pathetic huh!
I know some of you are going to really relate to this and some of you are going to think I'm nuts, but Tuesday Emily took me to Costco and I got to walk up and down every single aisle (with a mask on of course). I haven't been to Costco in over 7 months. During my real life, I was a once a week shopper there. Wednesday I slept the entire day to make up for it, but it was worth it! Monday, I am going to the temple with my sister Lisa. That has been on the top of my priority list. I feel that I am finally strong enough to sit through a session and handle being in a closed environment with coughing people.
Seriously, thank you for your love and heartfelt prayers! This is all in Heavenly Father's hands and I know He is very aware of my needs and especially aware of YOU - the wonderful, caring people that surround me. You all have earned so many brownie points!!

I love you, Becki

The latest from Becki

2009-04-06T12:28:00.002-06:00

Hi Everyone,
It's been a long 4 month wait, but we are now ready to continue with the second transplant. This week I will have a PET scan, a MRI, a pulminary test, a echo cardiogram and my favorite, another bone marrow biopsy! If all of the tests come back relatively similar to the baseline tests, then I will begin chemo on April 17th. I will be neutropenic almost immediately, so I will have to be completely isolated again. I know it has been a long process, and I have asked so much of you, but please keep me in your prayers. I am really nervous this time around because I know exactly what to expect. I always thought knowledge was power, but in this case I would rather be ignorant.
Today I went up to Layton to see my bunnies. I have missed them so much. Kim's sister Cheryl is caring for them and they are very loved. Then we spent the afternoon with extended family. I still have to wear a mask, but it is so great to hug. I've never been a very huggy person, but let me tell you, that is going to change. After 3 months of isolation I am starved for hugs! Another thing you will never hear me complain about again is my weight. Everyone needs a buffer of fat!! It pads your bones, gives you a buffer during sickness and looks healthy! Those of you who are 40 and under can fight to maintain the anorexic look, as for those of us over 40, ENJOY FOOD! It has taken me 3 1/2 months to be able to eat just a handful of different foods. Food is a very enjoyable part of life. I dream of the day I can eat pizza, chocolate, and bread again without getting sick.
Thanks for letting me rant! I also wanted to thank all of you who have brought meals in. I am awed at the kindness and generosity of my ward(s). Some of you I haven't even met yet. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My poor husband would starve if it weren't for you.

Love, Becki

In search of warm weather and sunshine...

2009-03-31T21:07:00.005-06:00

Those who could enjoyed a nice get away to Moab this past weekend. It was a somewhat last minute decision, so only Kim, Becki, Brooke, Ryan, Jess and the boys were able to make it. Becki is actually feeling quite well (considering) so it was nice for her to be able to enjoy family time and a little southern Utah sunshine. She wasn't able to hike or bike or anything, but had a great time at the park, playing games, watching movies, eating lots of food, and playing with her grandkids. Here are a few pictures from the weekend:

Becki and Tyler enjoying the sunshine

Nathan and Jess playing around at the park

Kim and Tyler- trying to take a walk with everyone. Tyler has to stop and look at EVERYTHING!

Ryan, Nathan, and Brooke at the musical park rocking out

Throughout this whole treatment, Becki has made it a point to keep Nathan in the loop so things won't be weird or scary to him. Here she is explaining her ports, why she has them, and what the doctors do with them.

Kim, Tyler, Nathan and Becki- They really love their grandkids!

We all had a great time and already can't wait till we get to go again with the whole family. Becki has gained her ten pounds, Wahoo!, and is now waiting for her doctor's approval to begin the next transplant. Dr Zangari is a little concerned about her low blood pressure and has been performing multiple tests to see if they can find the root of the problem. He had her see a cardiologist, who said Becki's heart looks fine except that the chemo has weakened it a little. After hearing that, Becki has been determined, even if she doesn't have the energy, to take little walks and do things to strengthen her heart. Hopefully, they will find out what needs to be done, fix it, and get her going on this next treatment soon so we can focus on the blue skies ahead and getting our Mom back.

Howdy Partner

2009-03-17T14:43:00.004-06:00

The first weekend in March the whole family ventured down to Pleasant Grove where Emily plays Miss Andie in an Old West dinner show. Now of course you can't go to an Old West show without looking the part, so we all rounded up some western gear and had a great time. The band Steel and Thunder played the entire time and Emily's roommate/best friend plays in that band. The music was awesome, the food delicious, and Emily and her crew members did a great job. Nathan probably had the best time of all. He became Emily's little deputy and pretty much stood by her side the entire time. He even got to go back stage.

Steel 'n Thunder

Miss Ruby and Miss Andie (Emily)

Emily's solo performance of "You can't get a guy with a gun"

The whole rootin' tootin' crew

New update

2009-03-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

Thank you for your care and concern. I am feeling better each day. I was having alot of trouble getting over the mucousitis, which made it difficult to keep food down, but the dead layers have finally started sloughing off. This last week I have also been battling an intestinal bacterial infection (c-diff). Now I just have to put on enough weight that round two can eat without putting me in the hospital. (I lost 30 pounds the first round). It's especially difficult this 2nd round to have a positive attitude because I know exactly what I am getting in to, and I am feeling so good right now!
Yesterday, I got to go to a family dinner with all my siblings and their kids and all my own kids. I had to wear a mask the whole time, but this is the first time in 5 months that I have been able to get this close to my neices and nephews. Actually, it is the first time I have been in a public situation. Every time I passed someone they "petted" my head which has about 1/2" of hair now. The kids were facinated! My 15 year old nephew looked just like me! (He keeps his hair really short)
I doubt that I will be starting phase 2 for at least 3-4 weeks, so we are going to try to get to Moab now that it has warmed up, before I start.
Well, I'm half way there. By Fall my hair can really grow and I can be excited about feeling better and better. Love, Becki

3 whopping pounds!

2009-02-25T00:11:00.002-07:00

Who would ever want to think about, pray for, and really want someone to gain weight? It seems like a really odd request. No, its not your everyday hopes and wishes, but when Becki met with the doctors last she had gained 3 pounds!! This is great news! We are all stoked and hope that the rest she needs to gain will happen quickly so we can get this next blasted treatment over with. Thanks to all of you who have been thinking "fattening" thoughts. It clearly worked.

Cancer is so limited

2009-02-18T11:21:00.002-07:00

Their is a tile with the cute vinyl lettering up at Huntsman with the following saying on it. Becki loved it, so she now has this same tile in her home. Thought we would share with everyone:

Cancer is so limited

It cannot cripple Love

It cannot shatter Hope

It cannot corrode Faith

It cannot destroy People

It cannot kill Friendship

It cannot suppress Memories

It cannot silence Courage

It cannot invade the Soul

It cannot steal eternal Life

It cannot conquer the Spirit

No news is good news!

2009-02-12T14:54:00.003-07:00

I know it has been a while since the last post, but we haven't had too many updates to give. (which is a good thing most of the time) There are a few things though, some real positive things and a few negative things.

The Positive:
-Everyday Becki is feeling a little better than the previous day.
-Although food still tastes metallic and nasty most of the time, Becki is doing a better job at keeping it down.
-We have been able to get together with the family. Wahoo! And not even have to wear masks!
-Emily always says you can tell she is feeling better when she starts trying to reorganize all the meds and everything in her room. (for those of you who truly know Becki, she lives for a clean and organized...... life)
- Her labs are looking really good.

A few negatives:
-Food still doesn't taste very good.
-Because she can't eat much, and not much has stayed down anyway, she has lost a lot of weight.
-Tyler came down with roseola and even though he is feeling all better the doctors said the boys can't be around Becki for 2 weeks. (she was really bummed about that)
-Last week when Becki met with the Dr, he said they could wait as long as 3 months to start the next treatment. She has lost too much weight and until she gains at least 10 pounds they will hold off for a bit. Becki really wants to get this all over with, so this was not good news at all.

Overall, we are all so excited to see some life back in our Mom's eyes. She has been so strong, upbeat, happy, and excited to spend some time with her family. We are trying to take advantage of these times and enjoy her health. The Lord is keeping a close eye on Becki, and we are filled with so much gratitude to have the gospel and it's light in our lives. Hopefully each day will continue to bring more sunshine!

Finally a break from all the clouds

2009-01-26T11:58:00.005-07:00

Last Thursday when Becki went up to the doctor, they discovered her triple lumen port was infected. The doctors have tried antibiotics but with no results, so they took out her old port and had to replace it with a new one. This time they put it on the inside of her bicep on her arm. Becki said it was the weirdest feeling. From the port there is a 24 inch tube that runs up her arm, down her chest and to a major artery by her heart. I guess the first time they tried to insert the tube it curled up inside of her, so they had to take it out and do it again. Becki said it wasn't too painful but felt so weird. She thinks it is quite disgusting to know what is inside of her and quite frankly is sick of being poked and prodded at!
Beside the new port, there really isn't too much new info to report. She is feeling pretty good, but hates that she doesn't have the energy to do anything. Most of her days are still in bed trying to entertain herself somehow between all the sleeping. The next transplant is scheduled to hopefully be in the first week of March, but if she gets sick or anything that could be pushed back. One of the most difficult things right now is trying to stay positive about what is still to come. It is so great that she is starting to feel a little better, but so hard to know that she just has to go through it all again, and this time KNOWS how extremely terrible it is. We all assumed it would be ugly, but now we know just how ugly it gets. We are truly looking forward to when this next round of chemo and transplant are finished and she is on the mend for good. How nice it will be to have our fun, loving, and energetic Mom back (Becki is pretty excited too!) In the meantime, we are once again enjoying her current health and trying to spend as much time as possible together as a family.
We will keep posting on this blog as usual with any new updates or news. Thanks again for all your love and support.

Happy Birthday Becki!

2009-01-15T13:24:00.009-07:00

Tuesday morning Becki, Kim, and their good friends Mike and Lanae Maughn were given a private tour/open house of the Draper Temple before they open it up to the public. She felt like quite the VIP. It was a perfect start to her birthday, but still wore her out a lot. The rest of the afternoon she slept a lot, relaxed, and had many birthday calls and visitors. In the evening, most of the family came over for the first time in months. Nathan was so excited that when he was asked earlier in the day what he was doing that evening, he replied, " I am going to Grandma Becki's birthday party AND I even get to go inside!" Becki was just as excited to see her grandkids and the rest of the family. We didn't want to wear her out too much though, so towards the end of the evening we popped some of our favorite popcorn from our childhood and watched Finding Nemo. You tell me what gets much better than that!! We then sang happy birthday and had some cake. The funny part was Becki didn't want to blow out the candles cause she has a contagious virus in her mouth. Nathan was sitting right by her side and of course he wanted to blow them out, which we definitely didn't need a 4 year old's germs all over the cake either. So we waved and clapped our hands above the cake until all the candles were out. Nathan thought it was great fun!

Becki with her favorite buddy, Nathan!

Waving out the candles

Grandpa Kim playing with his boys.

Tyler, Kim & Becki

Well we all had a fabulous time spending the evening with Becki for her birthday and are so grateful she was healthy enough to be able to do so. We hope you had a wonderful birthday Mom.

We love you!

Hugs & Kisses for Grandma

2009-01-12T16:32:00.009-07:00

Thursday afternoon when Becki was at Huntsman doing the usual blood tests and such, a nurse who deals with her regularly, asked her if she had hugged and kissed her grandbabies yet. Becki immediately had tears roll down her cheeks. She has missed them so much. Well the nurse then told her that her white blood cells were looking really good and that she should stop on her way home to give her grandbabies kisses. Becki was ecstatic! She has been waiting for weeks to be able to actually see and touch her grandkids. We all still have to take extreme caution and make sure we are freshly washed up and aren't sick or anything, but we have been cleared to be able to not be so anal until the next transplant in about 6 weeks. Wahoo! We are already planning family get togethers so we can spend as much time as possible until then.

Home Sweet Home... again

2009-01-04T17:57:00.002-07:00

Yeah!! Becki FINALLY came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon and is so excited to be able to sleep in her own bed. Her numbers are doing a lot better than the doctors even thought she would at this point. Some are actually higher than they were a year ago!! Wahoo!
Despite the good levels she is still feeling the effects of chemo though. It has been a rough couple of weeks and she needs lots of reminders of why she is doing all this. Brett and Jess took Nathan and Tyler down to visit Grandma Becki through her window this afternoon and it couldn't have been better timing. Becki was so thrilled to see her precious grandbabies. She misses them and everyone else so much. Hopefully each day will bring a little more health and these next few months will fly by!

(Nathan is sitting right by me while I type this and he really wanted me to write some stuff for his Grandma Becki.) I love grandma Becki! Grandma Becki loves Ty Guy. Grandma Becki loves me too. I want Grandma Becki to feel better and feel good so she can play with me forever and two hundred days.

Our Mom the Hero

2008-12-29T16:00:00.005-07:00

Emily, Brooke and Shellie have had something planned to give/show Becki for a little while now, but wanted to wait for the perfect time. Well, since this last week has been so horrid for Becki they figured now was just as good of a time as any.

WE LOVE YOU, MOM!

**Also, a few updates. We found out this afternoon that Becki has engrafted!! Wahoo! That means she is starting to create white blood cells. The doctor also said that whatever is infected or growing in her intestines is getting better, and now with a few white blood cells we should be able to wipe this infection out in no time. They are also hoping to have Becki return back home by the end of the week.

To fill in some details...

2008-12-28T19:07:00.004-07:00

The doctors discovered that the night Becki was sent to the ICU she went into septic shock. They could tell because she wasn't able to get any air, her blood pressure wouldn't rise despite how much liquid they had given her, and she has an infection in her lower intestines and colon.
They ended up giving her 17 liters of liquids and antibiotics to get her through that first night. Wow that is a lot of fluid! Her IV stand looked like a Christmas tree.
Becki is also stuggling with her mucositis which is painful inflammation and sores all through the esophagus and digestive tract. This made it almost impossible for her to swallow ANYTHING. She has been receiving all her nutrition through her IV. They are hoping to give her some chicken broth by about Tuesday. Now doesn't that sound exciting??
All in all, it was a very scary night, but things are looking much better. She is definintely on the mend. Emily stays with her from about 7 am to 7 pm and then Kim takes the 7 pm to 7 am shift. Now all 3 of them (Kim, Becki, and Emily) are a little loopy since none of them are getting too much sleep. The rest of the family feels helpless, but we are all unable to go around Becki at this time. The risks of getting her sick are too high. We are so grateful that Emily and Kim are healthy and able to help so much. Within the next couple of days, Becki's new stem cells should begin to engraft and create some white blood cells to help fight off this infection. Everytime I talk to her she says she is feeling a little better than the day before. We are hoping that it keeps continuing that way!

Christmas in the hospital

2008-12-26T11:23:00.002-07:00

Early Christmas morning Kim took Becki up to the hospital because she was running a fever and feeling really awful, even more so than normal. They pumped her full of liquids to try to hydrate her and put her on antibiotics. Her blood pressure was really low, but generally when she receives the hydration her levels come back up. Around 8 o'clock in the evening she was admitted to the ICU because her blood pressure was still too low (it dropped to 71), she was having excruciating abdominal pain, heart palpitations, and troubles breathing. The doctors thought maybe her body was rejecting the bone marrow transplant or that she might have an infection in her intestines. Kim immediately called Brett and Ryan to come give her a priesthood blessing. Afterwards the doctors did a CT scan and some other tests, but we are still waiting to hear an official result. As of this morning her blood pressure is back up to 125. She is feeling much better and was even able to get a few hours of sleep. The doctors have told us that this is all somewhat normal. Her body is at the lowest point it will be at with absolutely no immune system to help out. They are keeping close tabs on her and should be moving her back to the BMT (bone marrow transplant) wing later today or tomorrow. Boy are we grateful for the priesthood!! Please continue to keep Becki in your prayers. We appreciate all your love and support and hope you had a Merry Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2008-12-23T13:35:00.004-07:00

This year for Christmas Becki asked Brooke to put together a little note or something to give to all our extended family since Christmas shopping was going to be a little hard to do. The message really applies to much more than family though, so we wanted to share this with everyone. Merry Christmas!!

Christmas is a joyful time of year
For friends and family oh so dear

Parties, gifts and food galore
It always leaves us wanting more

We shop and cook and stress and run
Oh isn’t Christmas just so much fun?

But this year has been a different one
It feels as though things have come undone.

As you all know, Becki has been ill
We have a hard time even believing it’s real.

The first rounds of chemo and transplant are in the past.
There are rough days ahead, but we know they won’t last.

It’s hard to get Christmas shopping done while laying in bed
So I hope you will accept this poem as your gift instead.

Becki is not even allowed to roam
Anywhere but the bedroom end of her home.

She is fighting hard and being strong
And wanted to pass this message along.

We need to take the time to think
About the true meaning of Christmas and the joy it brings

Jesus is the reason we create such a fuss
Can you believe how much he has done for us?

We can’t wait till that blessed date
When we all jump for joy and celebrate.

That Becki is better and all is well
And then this will be just a story to tell.

So while we are waiting, remember oh please
Just how much you mean to our family.

The Stevens’ family would like to say
Thanks for your prayers, we feel their power everyday!

Our hearts are filled with so much love
We give many thanks to our Lord above.

So let the Savior and his love reign.
Merry Christmas till we see you again.

The Transplant

2008-12-22T15:55:00.003-07:00

As Becki mentioned below, she had her first transplant last Friday. The transplant itself consists of about three hours of an IV alternating between the stem cells and some saline for hydration. As far as we could tell, things went well. They say that between about Wednesday through Sunday of this week will be the worst days. Frankly, she is already feeling lousy so this is going to be a really tough week. (especially with it being Christmas and all) Kim and Emily have the house on lock down so nobody is coming in and they aren't going out much during this next week. Becki's immune system will be at its lowest point and we can't risk her catching any bugs or getting an infection. They say that 80% of patients end up back in the hospital, so we are trying REALLY hard to make sure that doesn't happen!!

At last, I got to see my Grandbabies!

2008-12-18T17:34:00.013-07:00

Yesterday, in response to a letter I sent to my grandson Nathan about my snow angel needing a snowman to be friends with, Jess brought the 2 grandbabies down to build me a snowman and visit me at my window. (See, I do accept window visitors). Although it was so hard to not be able to swoop them up and kiss them uncontrollably, it was absolutely wonderful to see them after so long.

aren't they just so cute!!

Update: I'm in the middle of my second course of chemo and I get my first of two transplants tomorrow. The next few weeks are going to be very difficult and isolated, but successful, you just wait and see. I am grateful for your prayers and concern.

2008-12-15T15:18:00.006-07:00

Yes, a posting from Becki, imagine that. That means that at the moment I am lucid, a rare event.

The other night I looked out my window and look what I saw!!

My sweet neighbors put this up outside my bedroom window to help me focus on the wonderful things around me. (I can see it without even getting out of bed).

My neighbors Timmy, Taylor, Jayden and Chris Feroah.

This is me, attempting escape from my isolated bedroom. I accept window guests from 12-2 Monday thru Thursday and all day Saturdays (kidding, kidding--germ guardian, Gestapo Emily stands watch at all hours)!

A big thank you for all of your love and caring.

Becki

Thanksgiving

2008-12-10T13:04:00.004-07:00

Thanksgiving is the time of year to spend time with family and remember how much you have been blessed with in your life. This year was definitely a Thanksgiving that will not be forgotten. Becki was actually feeling quite well, so those that were completely healthy spent the day with her. We began with a delicious Thanksgiving dinner that actually tasted excellent to Becki. (Wahoo!) Emily set the table with some cute decorations and fine china so we even felt all fancy pantsy. Generally Becki always eats (and does everything else) in her bedroom but we obviously couldn't have her eating all by herself on Thanksgiving, so we did things a little different. Becki would take her mask off and take a few bites while the rest of us were masked. Then she would mask up and we would all take a couple bites. I think we should make it a tradition. Because you would only take a few bites, then take a break, nobody got too full and sick feeling like you always do after scarfing Thanksgiving dinner. It was so nice to be able to spend this time together!

After dinner we all piled on Becki's bed and played Phase 10. It has been a while since we have played card games together. It was quite comical. Lets just say I have never seen someone lose quite as bad as Kim. We just didn't think that was even possible. Poor Dad, we stopped counting his score about 3 rounds into the game.

Well it was a wonderful day and we were very grateful that Becki was feeling as well as she was. The next round of chemo should start by the end of this week and then the transplant will be given in the first part of next week. Especially during this time of year, our family is overwhelmed with gratitude for so many things. Now more than ever, we remember how important family is and how boring life would be without eachother in our lives. We also are so grateful for all the wonderful people who have done so much for Becki and our family. Thank you for your love, support, and faith. We feel your prayers and feel so grateful for the gospel in our lives. Happy Holidays!

A little break

2008-11-26T15:34:00.003-07:00

Becki was officially given the stamp of approval by Dr Zangari this week, which means no major procedures, drugs, etc for 2 whole weeks. Yipee! The mouth sores are gone, taste buds have improved just a little, and she isn't so loopy all the time. Her hair has mostly all fallen out, but she is actually feeling much better. (considering) She will be able to enjoy some Thanksgiving dinner and is looking forward to spending some time with family while she is feeling more up to it. The next round of chemo and the transplant will bring back her mouth and throat sores, kill the few taste buds that have come back, and overall be far worse than these last 3 weeks. So we are planning on thoroghly enjoying these next couple of weeks!

Just what the doctor ordered!

2008-11-21T16:56:00.004-07:00

Brooke's good friend, Stacey Jo, is an aesthetician and Becki LOVES having Stacey pamper her. After her hard week of being in the hospital, Brooke decided to surprise her with a little facial and pedicure. She was in absolute heaven! Stacey even left her with some great samples that will help her feel beautiful. Thanks Stacey!

The Harvest

2008-11-21T16:13:00.008-07:00

Thursday morning when Becki went up to Huntsman for the usual labs and test, they discovered that her cells have gone up by 27 points. That is huge and awesome!! Because of this she was able to begin harvesting. It is a very time consuming process, but she was able to just sleep through most of it. They hook you up to the machine and let it try and collect as many cells as it can in 4 hours. They do this process day after day until 20 million cells are collected. It could take anywhere from 2-8 days. The average collection, and what they were hoping to be able to get from Becki, is 4 million. Becki being the champion that she is collected 11 million!!! This was such great news!

Becki spending some time with Emily and Brooke while waiting for lab results.

Look at all this stuff that was going in her. YIKES!

Check out this crazy machine. Wow, technology these days is just mind blowing.

Becki has been so strong and courageous through all this, but things have been definitely hard. It is so hard for her to not be able to see everyone and give hugs and loves. She naturally is having a hard time adjusting to the new hair-do and is suffering from some seperation anxiety. She likes to know that people will be around her all the time. All the drugs they have her on definitely don't help out either. We have been striving to have one of us be with her as much as we can and trying to make sure she knows how much she is loved and how beautiful we think she is, even with no hair! We are so grateful for how hard she is fighting and how brave she is! Thanks Mom! We love you!

Home Sweet Home

2008-11-21T09:08:00.012-07:00

Becki was such a good girl at the hospital that they let her come home Wednesday afternoon. (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that everytime a doctor or nurse walked in the room she asked, "Can I go home yet?") Her fever has stayed down and she is so excited to be back in her own bed and not eating hospital food. Even though she was able to come home, she still had to go back in Wednesday night to recieve another Newlasta shot. These are the shots that help stimulate the cells in the bone marrow and push them out into the blood stream so they can be harvested. The doctors were hoping to be able to start harvesting earlier this week, but Becki's body just hasn't been responding to these Newlasta shots as much as they would like.

On her way home from receiving the shot, Kim and Becki stopped by Grandma's house so that Brett and Ryan could assist Kim in giving Becki a blessing. (Brett, Jess & their boys live across the street from Brooke, Ryan and Becki's mother, Ruth) It was a quick stop, but Becki was able to receive a beautiful blessing and sneak a peek at her grandkids that she misses so much.

Since this whole process has began, Becki has told Brooke that as soon as she starts losing hair, she wants it shaved off as soon as possible. Well that day has come, so Brooke, Emily and Becki made a fun evening out of shaving her head.

This is what Emily found Becki doing earlier this evening. She used to vacuum her bunnies when they were shedding, so why not vacuum your own head when you start really shedding? She is such a hoot.

We are starting to think we should have all been dental hygienists or something. Scrubs and a mask are quite cute!

Here we go... let the fun begin.

It just wouldn't seem right if a mohawk wasn't involved.

She is so beautiful that she can even pull off the hardcore biker look.

2008-11-17T10:16:00.005-07:00

When Becki went up to Huntsman Monday morning, they admitted her into the hospital because of a fever and they believe some kind of infection. She was immediately put on an antibiotic and they are monitoring her closely to ensure she doesn't get too uncomfortable. Generally when patients are admitted, they send them over to the UofU Hospital, but the hospital was really full so they have her in a room at Huntsman. The rooms are much nicer, cozier, and don't feel so hospital like, so we are grateful she ended up where she has. The entire staff is so friendly and has beckoned to her every little need. Hopefully she won't have to be there more than 4-5 days, but her white blood cells are about at zero so she has no way for her body to fight on its own. Huntsman goes by an "absolute neutraphil count" (in her white blood cells) that needs to be around 500. She is no where near that right now, so until her body can produce that, these great doctors and nurses will keep a close eye on her.

Treatment timeline

2008-11-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

Here is a little more detail on what the schedule is for the next month or so:

-Day 1 began on the first day of chemo (November 5th) and lasted for 4 days.

-Day 6 (Nov. 10) She received a Newlasta shot. (I have no idea how to spell this medical stuff. I resort back to kindergarten and sound things out) This particular shot helps to push the stem cells out of the bone marrow and into the blood stream so that the cells can be harvested. It used to be quite a procedure to harvest the cells, but now they can gather them through the blood.

-Around day 11-13 they will begin to harvest the cells. This could take up to 3 or 4 days. They gather millions of cells, preserve and freeze them, so they won't ever have to do any harvesting again. These cells can be used for many years.

-Day 13 she will receive another Newlasta shot.

After the cells are successfully harvested, Becki will have 2 weeks of recovery.

-Then they start more chemo. The first day of this chemo they label as Day negative 4 (the countdown to the transplant). It is administered at Huntsman on Day -4 and Day -1. This is more of a hardcore chemo that should make her feel super crappy.

-Then she receives her first transplant. It seems to be a fairly easy procedure. They just give her back some of her harvested cells.

The 7 days after the transplant are said to be the worst days. We don't know quite what to expect, but that it will be awful.

Once the doctor has has seen that she has engrafted (which usually takes 10-12 days after the transplant) she gets 2 months off for recovery.

-Then we start the hardcore chemo again, followed by a second transplant.

We will try to keep this updated as much as possible as to her responses and any changes in her treatment.

In the meantime, please keep her in your prayers. She is absolutely amazed at how much love, warmth, and caring has exuded from everyone. Thank you!

Chemo: Round 1

2008-11-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

Becki's red blood cells are so low that they have been giving her multiple blood transfusions to help get them up. Because of this they postponed the chemo from starting on November 3rd to November 5th. The first round of chemo, called depace, lasted for four days and was carried with her at all times in a little backpack. The four days ended on Sunday and to her utter excitement, she still has a full head of hair and has only thrown up once. We definitely planned on things being worse, so we are very grateful that her body has accepted this first round so well. It is supposedly a little less harsh then the other rounds of chemo she has to look forward to, but we are happy to report that beside her being extremely fatigued and a bit loopy she is doing well.

An example of Becki's loopiness: the other day Becki asked Shellie to grab a paper and a pen to write some things down for her. Shellie did so and couldn't stop laughing when she realized that Becki wanted her to write down the subliminal messages that her chemo monitor (in the backpack) was sending to her.

Purple hair and baby kisses

2008-11-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

On Saturday November 1st, it was a beautiful, warm day. All the family ventured down to Draper so that Nathan and Tyler (Becki's grandkids) would be able to see Grandma Becki one more time before it just wouldn't be possible for a while. We all bathed, put on clean clothes, and headed down to Becki's house. As soon as we got there while Nate and Ty were still clean, we took antibacterial wipes to the boys and wiped down Grandma Becki's favorite places to kiss, then let her hold and kiss them. Not being able to see her grandkids is and will be so hard for her. We were all so thrilled that the weather was in our favor so we could keep the germs outside and enjoy each other for a while.

Becki kissing Ty in her favorite spot!

Big hugs for Grandma Becki

While we were there, Brooke gave Becki a haircut so that when she started losing her hair it wouldn't be as traumatic. Nathan took the first cut and then Brooke took over from there. This was something that we thought would be hard for Becki and all of us because it would make it feel that much more real, but she looks absolutely beautiful! Her sister Lori keeps her hair short and we all couldn't believe how much they look alike now.
Becki wanted this to be as much fun as possible, so after the haircut, Nathan sprayed Grandma Becki's hair purple. He was absolutely thrilled!

Before

During ....

After- Isn't she beautiful?!

Becki likes lots of pictures with all the girls and our hair.

Becki with her boys

Kim took Becki's rabbits, Tumble and Abby, up to his sister's house who is so gracious to watch them during these hard months. Becki had to say goodbye to them that same day.

This day kind of sums up how Becki has been taking this journey. She makes the most of a tough situation. It could have been really hard to watch Becki lose her hair, but instead she made a party out of it, complete with purple hair dye! She is always thinking of others and is really trying to make this easier for everyone.

Moab

2008-11-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

This last trip to Moab we took really easy because Becki was getting extremely weak and fatigued. One afternoon during her short window of having a little energy, all the girls went out shopping to find some pretty scarves and hats she could wear once the chemo stole all her hair.

Even though Becki had little energy she still managed to get in a few flips and belly flops off the diving board, eat her favorite meal from Pasta Jays, and enjoy some time with her family.

Getting started at Huntsman

2008-11-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

Becki spent many days at the Huntsman Cancer Institute during the last two weeks of October. She had multiple blood tests, two bone and marrow aspirations, a PET/CT scan with general anesthesia, an MRI with general anesthesia, an echo cardiogram, and an EKG. She had already had many of these tests before, but Huntsman requires to have them done again at their own facility for their records.

They gave Becki a rough date of November 3rd to begin the chemo, but a few things still had to be done. On the 29th, Becki and her three daughters attended a 3 hour class that Huntsman puts on for the caregivers. We learned a lot of great information on all we need to do to ensure that this is as smooth and comfortable for Becki as possible. Also, they told us that 80% of patients end up getting admitted back to the hospital because of infection. We are determined to have her be a part of the other 20%. We have taken all of their advice and then taken it a step further. Becki calls her oldest daugher "General Emily", because she and Kim are so anal about germs and wearing masks. We are trying to be so ridiculously careful since her immune system is practically non-existent.

On the 31st they put a triple lumen...something...port in. (All these medical terms are a bit much for us laypeople)! This really scared Becki. After waking up and seeing this "huge 3 prong dangly thing hanging out of my chest" she realized that she could no longer back out. It was a really scary feeling. The port could be in as long as a year. They administer the chemo, take blood, give medicine, etc. all through these three "dangly things".

Becki has been so impressed by the people at Huntsman. They are very compassionate and act like they have all the time in the world just for her. Two guys that were part of the team that put her port in could see how terrified she was, so they took her to the room where the procedure was done, showed her everything and explained all the how and whys. They were really sweet. It is nice to have her in such good hands.

Don't just endure the storms, but choose the right while they rage

2008-11-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

Kim and Becki spoke in sacrament meeting in their ward on October 12th. Becki spoke about what she has learned since being diagnosed 5 months ago and did a fabulous job. (like always) Here are some highlights.

1- Preparation is everything.

Elder Eyring taught that: “There is another even more important preparation [than temporal preparation] that we must make for tests that are certain to come to each of us. That preparation must be started far in advance because it takes time. What we will need then can’t be bought. It can’t be borrowed. It doesn’t store well. And it has to have been used regularly and recently. What we will need in our day of testing is a spiritual preparation. It is to have developed faith in Jesus Christ so powerful that we can pass the test of life upon which everything for us in eternity depends. (Spiritual Preparedness: Start Early and Be Steady, pp 37-38)

If I had received this cancer diagnosis without years of gospel understanding and perspective; without testimony building experiences; and without the wisdom that comes from keeping the commandments, my spiritual reserves would have been empty. Without those incredibly needed spiritual tools I most likely would have been devastated and angry and confused about Heavenly Father’s love for me.

2-Our daily trials in life can help prepare us for big ones.

Elder Hales said: Sometimes what we learn today may not seem valuable until months or years in the future. (BYU 8/08)
Elder Walter Gonzalez of the Seventy said: Today is the time to prepare – not during the crisis. What are we doing today to engraven in our souls the gospel principles that will uphold us in times of adversity?
By doing so Alma tells us that our afflictions can be swallowed up in the joy of Christ. (Alma 31:38)

3-Who knows but that your experiences might be to help someone else?

In May when our ward held the fast for the 3 of us with cancer, my wonderful non-member neighbors came over that Sunday morning to tell me that they were fasting too. I was completely awed.
(There was also the story from a previous post about a woman they met while in Mexico)

4- A huge part of what I have learned concerns gratitude.

In D&C 59:21 the Lord says: “And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.
I’m fairly certain that He really does mean all things!

In a wonderful article by Darla Isackson in Meridian Magazine she said, "I see now that my gratitude is the very heart of my faith, the very soul of my trust in the Lord. I am lost without it, because without it I lose the Spirit. The Holy Ghost never participates in my whining, self-pity, negativity, or blindness to the Lord’s purposes. The Lord never motivates or inspires me to complain about my circumstances. Only when I am attending to the commandment to give thanks in all things can the Spirit attend me. No wonder this commandment has been so often repeated".

5- God is in control.

Ardeth Capp, in a past Women’s Conference, taught: "Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. Because He loves us He will not deprive us of the growth that comes from our tests, however hard they may be. If we understand the purpose in suffering, we can learn from it and become stronger because of it". (My Neighbor, My Sister, My Friend, Ardeth Capp, pp 27)
I don’t think we have to enjoy trials, but I do think we must see God’s will in them. And that’s not hard to do when we know that His will is the will of love.
In searching for help in the scriptures to meet this trial successfully in God’s eyes, I have learned that more often than not the Lord strengthens us to bear our trials rather than remove them from us, because ultimately they will refine our character and keep us humble. We are never left alone and Heavenly Father answers all prayers, but the answers we receive may not be what we expect or come to us when we want or in the way we anticipate. (Elder Bednar, Ensign, May 2008)

I have a clear understanding of the plan of salvation, and I know that Heavenly Father loves each one of us and is aware of our circumstances. I know that trials, no matter what their origin or difficulty, can be for our good and salvation depending on how we handle them. Anyone can outlast a trial, but the scriptures seem to suggest that there is a proper way to do it, a way that honors God. Elder Eyring said it this way: “The great test of life is…not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage.” That is my goal.

The Calzada Saga- part 2

2008-11-06T12:59:00.001-07:00

At the beginning of each "Calzada week" Becki would get lab work done, then a chelation, and then would meet with Dr. Calzada. On this second trip, Dr. Calzada drew a drop of her blood and analzyed it under a microscope. He saw that her blood looked much clearer and healthier. The problem was a 400 point rise in her IgA levels as well as other lab indicators that really concerned the doctor. For those of us who aren't so medically savy, we didn't understand how her blood could look better but have the actual disease be worse. Apparently IgA's are formed in your bone marrow cells and that is what has gone awry.

We don't really understand it either, but basically Becki's IgA is being made with only short chains instead of healthy IgA that is made of 2 long chains and 2 short chains. The real sign of improvement for Becki is if the IgA is made appropriately and the levels decrease.

The doctor told her that he was going to give her 1 month and if the IgA wasn't looking any better, she would have to undergo chemo and bone marrow transplants at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake. He discussed with her that all she had been doing to strengthen and cleanse her body would help her get through the chemo and transplants easier if she had to go that route.

Becki emailed the family and expressed how she was "scared spitless" of even thinking about going down that path.

When she got her labs back at the end of the week her white blood count had actually improved, her calcium was still in the normal range (which meant the bones weren't involved yet) and her kidneys and liver looked great! These are good things.

Undergoing all these treatments was not fun, but Becki had an experience with another of Dr. Calzada's patients that made it all worth it for her:

"The woman with breast cancer got out late like we did and asked us if we wanted to ride with her instead of taking the shuttle. While we were sitting in the very long border line, she asked us if we were Mormon - just like that - out of the blue "are you Mormon?". When we said yes, she said, "so, what do you believe?" In my 51 years, no one has ever asked me that question. It was SO COOL. I gave her a 10 minute spiel and she acted very interested. We are going to try to find a church and pick up a BOM [Book of Mormon] for her. I have taught the missionary discussions many times as a stake missionary, but this was so real missionaryish! It made the whole week worth it."

Well the month passed, Becki had new labs done, and nothing had improved enough. The cancer had clearly moved out of the smoldering state and was getting ugly. Unfortunately, it is a race with the clock. The one thing we needed we didn't have- and that's more time. Dr. Calzada told Becki she needed to go to Huntsman and do whatever they told her to do.

Go Big or Go Home

2008-11-06T12:07:00.001-07:00

After finding out all the news about Becki, our family decided to play as hard as we possible could throughout the upcoming summer. The more fun memories the better!

What a better way to start the summer than with the girls getting pedicures!

Becki enjoying her grandson, Tyler

Kim's parents lived right outside Moab for many years, so Moab has always been a place our family loves to visit. We once again have a great house to stay at, so we went down several times over the summer. We go hiking, biking, jeeping and swimming, and find lots of other fun things to do.

The family at a dinosaur archaeological dig

Becki examines dinosaur bones embedded in the rock wall

Swimming with grandson, Nathan

Fun in the pool

Does this woman look sick to you? She really knows how to show up her kids on the diving board!

Tyler, Becki and Emily at the park

Nathan and "Grandma Becki" eating Becki's favorite food at Pasta Jay's

Hiking in Moab

We also had the oppurtunity to stay at a cabin that Kim and his crew and recently remodeled.
Becki, Emily and Maya (our husky dog) decided to head up a night before the rest of us to get things set up and enjoy a little peace and quiet. They unloaded all of the food and gear inside, made a late dinner and then went out to get the dog settled. When they tried to get back inside they discovered that the door was locked and the cabin and car keys were inside. Emily's cell phone didn't have reception and they didn't know the area well enough at all to hike around looking for civilization. There were no windows unlocked and picking the lock with a paperclip and a nail just wasn't going to work. (Hollywood lies) Luckily, the rental car that they happened to have for the week was unlocked, but it had nothing in it. Normally Becki's car would be well equipped for these types of "emergencies". Needless to say, they spent the night in the rental car with the blanket that Maya had run through all the sticker bushes on the hillside. At dawn's first light they began walking and were so lucky to find a guy who happened to be heading down to Salt Lake that morning and was more than happy to take them and the dog.

It was a cold and uncomfortable night, but made for a funny start to a great weekend.

The cabin came equipped with four wheelers, bows and arrows, paintball gear, and tomahawks. We had a great time!

Who'd have known Becki was a natural with a tomahawk? She was the first to get a bulls-eye!

That's right- there are 4 girls squeezed around the edge of a bathtub making our feet all soft and pretty.

Stevens General Contractors (Kim and Brett's business) had a weekend getaway for all of their employees in Park City one weekend in September. These "getaways" often times feel like family getaways with a few friends because half of the people there are family. It was a fun and beautiful fall weekend.

Becki takes on the Alpine Slide

Kim, Becki, Brooke and Ryan (daughter and son in law) riding the lift to the Alpine slide

Becki was on a phone call and didn't realize that she had stuck her leg through the railing. She couldn't get it out for the life of her, so Brett saved the day with a little dish soap!

If there's one thing we've all learned from this, it is how important our family is to each other. It's so easy with the busy-ness of every day life to get caught up in our own lives and not even see each other for a few weeks! But after this reality check on the fragile state of our lives, we really made an effort to spend more time together. We had a lot of fun and made a lot of memories. And hopefully even when this is all over, we won't take our family for granted again! We are so grateful for the gospel and that we know that families are eternal.

Becki bowling at Brooke's birthday party

Becki enjoying time with Maya (dog) and Ty

Becki's grandsons LOVE when she takes them to feed the ducks

This is how we see our mom/wife/grandma: Super Becki!

The Calzada Saga

2008-11-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

The week of June 9th, Kim and Becki made their way down to San Diego. Dr. Calzada is very well known and has patients from all over the country. Each visit to Calzada consists of a full week, so many of them stay in a hotel just over the border and then a shuttle takes everyone over the border to the doctor's office and back. The doctor's office is a very positive and friendly place. Everyone hugs you, calls you by name, and asks how you are.

On Day 1 they took a HUGE sample of blood and met briefly with the doctor. The blood results wouldn't be back for a couple of days and in the meantime they had many treatments and procedures to do. Every day Becki received IV chelations (an IV of vitamins, minerals, and specific drugs for her body's needs). Throughout the week she had lymph node massages, stem cell therapy, toxic release baths, cholonics, and live cell shots. The idea was to cleanse the body and release any harmful toxins inside. At times there were multiple people in a room getting chelations or such. The air was full of success stories and hope which helped make the burdens of everyone involved a little lighter.

The labs came back as expected, and Calzada said that 8 out of 10 patients he sees he can help cure. Becki definitely fell into the 8. This was really good news. He went on to explain, though, that the body needs at least 6 months to really start showing and feeling signs of improvement.

Dr. Calzada sent Becki home with stem cells that had to be taken weekly and a smathering of homeopathic drugs to take daily. He also put her on a ridiculously strict diet and planned to have her come back to see him in 3 months.

Becki told the family in one of her emails when she was in Mexico, "If it is the Lord's will and this isn't my time to die, then I am turning over my cancer to Heavenly Father." We now had the hope that we didn't need to fear this disease any longer.

A Million Memories

2008-11-04T13:04:00.004-07:00

We decided that we wanted our Mom to have solid evidence that no matter how crappy she felt, she could look around and see that her family is happy, righteous, and loves her. The idea was that we want to have a million wonderful things recorded for her. Shooting for the moon here?? I don't know, but it sure seems like a noble goal to reach for. As her spouse and children we all had plenty of years of memories, so we wrote down our favorite memories and thoughts about her and presented it to her on Mother's Day titled "A Million Memories". We have posted a sampling of these memories below:

I love how fun you are to tease. Rabbit stew anyone? -Jess Stevens (daughter in law)

I have a wonderful wife and I believe she has a lot of virtues that have been passed down from you. She emulates your passion to devote everything to your family. Your love for the Savior and the gospel has helped instill a strong testimony in Brooke. I accredit so much of what I love about Brooke to her mom. -Ryan Mattice (son in law)

Its delightful how extensively thorough you can be. Only you would number your make-up and their corresponding brushes. -Emily Stevens (daughter)

One thing that has meant a ton to me is that you always supported me in soccer and running and everything else. I know how boring it can be to sit in the cold and cheer. -Shellie Stevens (daughter)

I think your compulsive need to do everything in the fastest manner possible is hilarious, especially when it involves hot wax and leg hair. Only you would rip off ALL of my leg hairs in one fatal swoop and think that my labor-like screams were intensely amusing. -Emily Stevens (daughter)

I love the way you love your grandchildren. -Jess Stevens (daughter in law)

I remember when my stupid high school boyfriend and I broke up. I came home to a bouquet of flowers and a sweet note from you saying "to one of my life’s greatest treasures…I am sorry you are hurting but know always how much I love you ". It meant so much to me to know at that moment how much I was loved by my Mom. -Brooke Mattice (daughter)

I think it’s hilarious that you hoard watermelon like a criminal. -Emily Stevens (daughter)

I loved when we would lay on the tramp with furry blankets and you would show us the constellations and sing dumb songs with us. -Shellie Stevens (daughter)

I loved the way you comforted me as a child when I dropped and broke a glass bottle of chocolate chips on the stairs at Great Grandpa Strong’s house. -Brett Stevens (son)

I love the incredible "institute lessons" that you taught to me and my friends. We always remark on how we learned more about the gospel in those months than we have in years of church. You are so animated and full of light when you teach or even talk about the gospel. -Brooke Mattice (daughter)

I love the glow in your eyes as you tell us about tearing all the buttons off the shirt of the bully that was bothering you as a child. -Brett Stevens (son)

I think it’s so funny how you rearrange your bunnies’ furniture more than your own. -Joanne Miner (friend/surrogate daughter)

I LOVE how hilarious it is that you say “a---chOUCH” when you sneeze. -Emily Stevens (daughter)

What comes first? Well anybody that knows you would know that family comes first. Since I have joined the family I have witnessed first hand how someone can devote everything to the ones you love; thank you for your great example. -Ryan Mattice (son in law)

My hearts starts racing when I remember the time that you broke your back mountain biking and told me that you would be fine without an ambulance, because they are too expensive. -Brett Stevens (son)

I love that you are my Dr/Pharmacist. Every time I need anything medical related... you always have the answers. And I love the memories I have of being sick and getting to sleep with the sick blanket on your couch. I hated being sick, but I loved being able to sleep in your room! -Brooke Mattice (daughter)

I love when you point at a puddle and say “look” and then splash us. -Shellie Stevens (daughter)

I love that you always have your corner cabinet stocked with all my favorite sugar cereals, even when I am hardly ever there to eat them! -Jess Stevens (daughter in law)

Remember the time your knee got stuck in the deck railing in Park City and even though it hurt you were laughing and joking with everyone about it. I think you are the cutest and I love being around you. You always bring a smile to my face. -Monica Buchanan (SGC friend)

I absolutely LOVED the private institute classes you taught in the comfort of our own home. You made us countless pages of profound wisdom and "Becki found facts" for our scriptures - we couldn't get enough! You also so generously supplied us with colored pencils and cool pens so we could keep up with you.. (yea, right! "mrs. rebound my scriptures because I had so much added quotes and facts") Your love and passion for the gospel is incredibly inspiring. You were always so willing, with a contagious smile on your face, to share your knowledge, testimony, and light.. You made learning about the gospel unexpectedly exciting and inspired us with fortitude to stand and be faithful to the truth. It's been years now, but it was such a momentous time, that you deserve to know how much your tender, yet powerful spirit influenced my life. Thank you for your example, faith, and love - not only for those around you, but for our Savior. You are a strength to all those you come in contact with. Your ripple is beautiful and ever-reaching. I am so grateful to know you. Even now, as I pray for you and your family, the spirit immediately engulfs me and I know that He is with you. What a blessing.. Know you are loved and admired, Becki. Thanks for being you! love you -Kallie Oborn (friend of Brooke's)

Grandma and Grandpa Strong always had some kind of family gathering at their house. They had an old fashioned mailbox where the mail was dropped thru a slot and landed on the floor. Becki and I would pick grass, weeds, flowers, etc and shove them thru the mailbox. Needless to say, Grandma Strong was not very happy about that! -Jodi Mulvey (cousin)

A great memory I have of Becki is when we were sitting on the famous swing on G & G Strong's porch holding our newborn babies. We were talking about how scary it was to be a new mother and what the future would hold for our newborns. That was such an innocent time and it was a long time ago, way back in 1978. -Jodi Mulvey (cousin)

Another fun memory is when cousin Jeff took us for a ride in his car. We got hopelessly lost and had no idea where we were. It was a hoot trying to figure out how to get back to G & G Strong's house! -Jodi Mulvey (cousin)

Remember all the funs we had working at Dan’s Bakery, packaging bread, scooping ice cream and serving hot dogs. And how could we forget our trip to California after high school graduation. I laugh when I think about us eating cereal in the parking lot of the MGM Grand. Do you remember that? The drive to California was also an adventure for two young women who where not to savvy about California freeways. Such fun memories… -Vicki Rognon Jackman (childhood friend)

I would love to keep the list growing so we truly can reach a million memories, so please take a few moments and write down some of your favorites and email them to herheroicjourney@gmail.com. Make sure to leave your name and what relation you have to Becki. Here are some guidelines you can follow:

1. I [love/like/think-its-hilarious] that.....

2. Remember the time.....

Just be creative! Becki will love reading your thoughts and memories.

The Diagnosis

2008-11-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

April 17th, 2008 Kim called for a family meeting. Now our family is close, but I don't recall ever having to have a family meeting before. Kim told us all that Becki received some blood results back and they wanted to discuss it with the family. Needless to say, none of us focused well the rest of the day. What could possibly be wrong?

We all gathered in the living room and awaited the news. Becki went on to tell us that her latest tests had many red flags and signs pointing toward multiple myeloma, a cancer of the plasma cells in the bone marrow. (http://www.multiplemyeloma.org/) The doctors were not 100% sure, but she had many of the symptoms. None of us would have ever thought that something so awful was going on inside of her; she looked so beautiful and healthy. She then told us that they were going to run a few more tests that should let the doctors know for sure. All of this must have been terrifying for Becki, but she was so strong and upbeat. She told us that she put her will in the Lord's hands a long time ago, and if this was her time, it was her time. (Not that she wasn't going to fight!) We were all so upset by the news that we had heard, but it was hard to even be sad around her because she had such a positive attitude.

Throughout all of this, the point was made very clear that this was something we would all do and fight together. Everyone would have a say and we would make ALL decisions as a family. How blessed we are to have the family we do. M. Russell Ballard said, "Nothing is more critically connected to our happiness- both our own and that of our children- than how well we love and support one another within the family."

That next week felt like one of the longest weeks ever as we waited to hear the results. The day finally came and we found out that she did in fact have the horrid cancer. The next step was taking it up with the Lord. Becki received a priesthood blessing and then we had a fast to ask the Lord what our next move should be.

We all felt impressed to try some alternative treatment from a doctor, Dr. Calzada, that Kim and Becki had both been to years ago to do some health maintanence. (His office is just over the California border in Tijuana). They contacted his office, but he was out of the country until the beginning of June, so they made an appointment for the first week in June. In the meantime, we spent a lot of time on our knees.

This was a really hard time for our family. I think we all tend to freak out a little more than necessary before we fully understand and get a grasp on things. It just seemed like too much information to process all at once. Becki wanted family pictures done immediately because first of all, she was worried about having hair by the time we got around to taking them, and second, Shellie was leaving for Alaska for the summer. We only had four days to find a photographer and get the pictures taken. Brooke found a sweet girl who had taken her boss' family photos and was so kind to work with us with such short notice.

What is going on here??

2008-11-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

Kim and Becki traveled to Israel and Egypt in May of 2007. This had been a dream of Becki's since, well, practically forever.

In front of the Treasury at Petra which is in Jordan.

A camel ride to Mt Sinai

Mud baths in the Dead Sea

Taken from the BYU Jerusalem Center.

For anyone who knows Becki, there is only one speed and it is cruisin'. Right after they got home from their trip Becki wasn't feeling 100%. She was extremely fatigued and having heart palpitations. After many months, many tests, and many doctor visits they decided she had a blood parasite from Egypt. They put her on medication to kill the parasite and she had to go in for weekly iron shots. The heart palpitations went away, but she was still REALLY tired. Her iron levels were just not improving even with the shots, so one of her doctors sent her to an oncologist for further testing. And this is where the journey begins.